Foster care is challenging, so it’s no surprise that foster parents deal with a lot of stress. It is common for foster youth to enter foster homes with emotional baggage or behavioral issues as they try to adjust to their new reality. But understanding your stress and where it comes from can help you to overcome it.
Just as foster parents need to dedicate themselves to the well-being of their foster children, we also believe that foster parents should do the same with themselves. Self-care is essential, and stress management is one of the best ways to make it through tough times. Cayuga Centers understands the importance of the emotional health and safety of our foster parents. That’s why we offer one-on-one meetings and support group sessions. As specialists on this subject, we want to ensure we do everything we can to help our foster parents when they need us the most.
Because stressful situations can be hard to manage, we’ve classified them under four different types to break down the various sources of stress and how to deal with them.
Understanding the Four Main Types of Stress
Primary Trauma Stress
This type of stress happens when an individual has experienced some kind of trauma. Foster children can experience primary trauma stress after being abused, neglected, and removed from their homes. Foster parents also deal with primary trauma stress as they adjust to having a new child in their homes.
Burnout and Compassion Fatigue
Often associated with emotional exhaustion, compassion fatigue happens when you have been overexposed to and internalize the suffering of your children to the point that their pain becomes too overwhelming to bear. Emotional fatigue can lead to feelings of disengagement with the work that you do. Experiencing this type of stress for long periods can lead to developing Secondary Trauma Stress (STS) and Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSS).
Secondary Trauma Stress
STS is the stress that happens when you hear or read about someone else’s trauma or when you’re exposed to traumatic stories regularly. Behavioral changes such as isolation, withdrawal, hostility, agitation, and anxiety could be signs that you’re experiencing this type of stress.
Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSS)
If you are a foster parent who has experienced primary trauma stress and have not been appropriately treated, you could be on your way to a medically diagnosed syndrome called PTSS. Some common signs of this syndrome are withdrawal, constant flashbacks, sudden changes in mood, or trouble sleeping. This syndrome must be diagnosed by a licensed medical professional.
Strategies to overcoming stress
As a foster parent, learning how to deal with stress is tricky, but the ability to move beyond it is the key to stress management.
Activate your Relaxation Response
The best way to overcome stress as a foster parent is to activate your relaxation response. This is when you practice bringing your body and mind to a state of safety and balance. Actively engaging in meditation and mindfulness is a great way to kick in this response. Try these tips on how to practice self-care as a foster parent.
Talk to a Professional
Communication is key! Once you know you are dealing with unhealthy stress, it is crucial to communicate and talk to your clinician or specialist about how you are feeling. Then you can work with your support network to develop a plan of attack or a strategy that is unique to you and what you are experiencing.
Find a Distraction
One of the most common strategies for stress is finding activities or hobbies that clear your mind. This will be unique to each foster parent. Knitting, watching sports, gardening, or playing video games are great examples of ways to de-stress. Taking your mind away from the cause of stress can help you and your health tremendously.
Lastly, it is imperative to know that no type of stress level is more important than another; all stress levels can have the same negative consequences on your body and mental health. By practicing the activities above, you can avoid the long-lasting effects of stress.
Remember: When you feel stressed, you still have ultimate control over your mind and body. Remember to breathe and relax, and know that there are support systems in your life to help
