As most schools nationwide remain closed through the end of the school year, foster parents may be concerned with how this affects a child’s behavior. Distance Learning, or learning from home, can pose challenges to foster parents that received vital in-person support for their children from school staff. Stress and feelings of uncertainty may have many feeling unprepared for the changes Distance Learning brings.
A change of pace is expected with long school closures. However, it is important to notice if a child’s mood may be connected to stress. Increased irritability and anger can result from a child’s difficulty in expressing their emotions. When changes in behavior happen, for example, a child becoming more withdrawn and less interactive, stress could be higher than usual. Children may also begin to neglect schoolwork. Most importantly, stress suppresses the immune system and could result in children feeling unwell.
Feelings of loneliness may happen during quarantine, even if you are staying home with others. They are not the same for everyone. Children that have playmates at home may have a better time coping with social isolation than an only child. Overall, children are lacking the structured activities provided at school that help them strengthen their social skills.
There are a number of ways foster parents can support their children at home. By modeling healthy coping skills to children, and explaining their benefits, foster parents have many opportunities to include their children in the solution-finding process:
- To avoid phone and computer screen burnout, especially in teens, foster parents can implement and participate in daily “quiet time” for one to two hours. During this time, the use of technology is set aside, allowing for meaningful family face-to-face interactions, and taking a break from news overload.
- Family group activities provide structure and opportunities to express group dynamics. Such activities could include gardening, making special meals, sharing interesting books or articles, playing dress-up, and arts & crafts projects.
- Setting up the same “school” section at home every day and encourage children to keep it neat and organized.
“Prosocial Behaviors” can be introduced to engage youth in actions that benefit others. Prosocial Behaviors are meant to benefit people other than oneself—behaviors such as helping, comforting, sharing, and cooperation. These behaviors are taught in the child or adolescent years. People could use prosocial behaviors differently, depending on their motivation. These include improving one’s self-image, influencing others to someday return the favor, or simply out of empathy and concern for the well-being of others.
The Power of Thoughts
Our thoughts have a big influence on how we act. Having negative thoughts can influence negative behavior. Having a positive state of mind helps us act positively.
Jumping to the worst-case scenario, focusing on the negative, or showing an “I can’t do it” mentality are negative thought patterns. When these thought patterns appear at home and affect your child’s behavior, the solution is not to stop the negative thought, but help your child face and examine the thought. The goal is to help create a more balanced and realistic mindset to overcome challenging situations. For example, you might emphasize the fact that although having to stay inside most of the day is difficult, together you can get through the pandemic safely. This “reframing” of thoughts can lead to more positive actions at home.
With your case team’s support, not only will you get through the pandemic safely, but your child will be better equipped to cope with the next change of routine when the PAUSE restrictions are lifted. To get help implementing these techniques, or accessing school resources, remember that foster parent support is only a phone call away to your caseworker.
