When considering becoming a foster parent, many say, “race doesn’t matter.” However, race factors into our daily lives and can become especially relevant when a child is placed with a family that is a different race than them. Adoption and foster care guru Angela Tucker defines transracial adoption as adopting or fostering a child from a different race than the adoptive parents.
Transracial fostering and adoption has recently become a controversial topic of conversation in the family services community and for a good reason. Studies suggest that minorities, particularly Black, Hispanic, and Native American children, are overrepresented in foster care. This is due to socio-economic factors such as poverty and a lack of accessible community resources. In addition, they are often placed in homes with White families that may not have a complete understanding of how to navigate cultural differences. Mental health experts suggest that children in these living situations are susceptible to psychological trauma and challenges stemming from feeling racially-isolated. This is mainly because the physical and cultural differences between adoptive parents and adoptees are so apparent.
Being a Transracial Foster Parent for Children of Color
Becoming a foster parent or an adopted parent is incredibly special. It requires a great deal of empathy and conveys you are actively willing to step up to provide a child a safe home. While concepts like the White savior complex, racism, and imperialism are very real, race should not inhibit you from becoming a foster parent or caring for a child in danger and requires a safe home. Here are five tips to keep in mind as a white parent considering fostering or adopting a child from a different race to navigate any uncertainty.
Talk With Your Foster Child About Race
The number one tip when navigating transracial fostering is: Don’t be afraid to talk about race. As much as we would like to think that we have control over our own biases, the way we treat people who look or sound different from us gets reduced to an impulse. As a foster parent, you may only see your child through the eyes of love, and you might easily forget that the rest of the world doesn’t see them the same way as you do. It’s important to keep in mind that people’s opinions about your child will be influenced by implicit bias. Ignoring your child’s race will only leave them vulnerable to negative outsider perspectives being a defining factor in how they see themselves. Conversations that start in the home will help your child feel supported, help them develop a healthy sense of self, and build a trusting relationship with you. It will also give them the tools to answer the “what are you?” or any question relating to their culture and race with confidence.
Acknowledge Differences
While it can be uncomfortable to talk about, racial identity is a pivotal aspect of seeing one another and is impossible to ignore. As a transracial foster parent, it would be irresponsible to ignore the historical and cultural context of racial relations in America and how it affects your child. Stray away from words like “colorblind” and lean into emphasizing the beauty of our diversity. It’s essential to initiate dialogue around beauty standards and reinforce that all different shades and sizes are beautiful. Pretending there are no differences will only lead to confusion and emotional trauma in the future.
Create A Support Plan
Having conversations and developing a strategic plan on how you will support the child is also helpful. Whether you choose to get the child involved in virtual or in-person meetings, there are several support groups and forums for transracial adoptees to find a sense of community. Also, it is okay to acknowledge you don’t know it all. Be willing to educate yourself about the complexities of race in our country and how to engage in an open conversation about racism with your child.
Actively Seek Support from Other Transracial Foster Parents
Your support plan should also include community resources that will expose you to the child’s culture and connect you with other parents who have adopted or fostered transracially. This is a great opportunity and to make connections with people who have the potential to become mentors or role models to your child. Agencies like Cayuga Centers will often host foster parent support groups of their own and point you in the right direction for community resources in your area.
Seek Support from Other People of Color
There will be certain situations in which you may feel you are not the best parent to your child simply because you are not the same race. At the same time, foster children don’t always feel comfortable talking about their cultural narratives with their foster care parents because of fear of being misunderstood. This is why it is crucial to validate your foster child’s feelings and reach out to people who look like them to best support them. Having a support system in place for yourself will also help you cope with the stresses of being a transracial foster parent.
Be Their Cheerleader
Lastly, encourage your child to know their culture and start the journey of self-discovery. As children grow up, they become more curious about their origins. You will be doing your foster child an injustice if you purposely leave out details of their culture to avoid internal conflict. Actively support all their attempts to learn about their culture and remind them you are there for them no matter what. Support can look different as well. It may look like taking a dance class honoring your foster child’s birth culture or learning the language from their native country. Our ultimate goal is to make children protected and reduce any harm in their lives. Your efforts to learn more about them will go a long way.
For more information on transracial foster care or how to help your children grow healthy and secure, you can visit our website or contact one of our experts on the subject. Cayuga Centers is one of the few places where encouragement and information regarding this subject are readily available. Through this blog post, we aim to help you make informed decisions. We also hope to inspire you to be the best foster parent you can be, regardless of cultural differences.
